At the source of every conflict is a MOMENT of a split in perception. If we are able to find that moment of the split, call it, name it, speak it, we find our way to the heart of the "other". For indeed there, we find in our heart the moment of perceiving that which the heart across from us perceived. We let go of our own idea, we step into the Heart and find that we can See the perception from “the other side”. If we can come to that moment of split and come to true understanding as to where the other was coming from, then we can Heal. We can Heal any and all wounds that have been projected into our reality and which we have made our own.
Picture this. Two people are both at the farmer's market, it's a sunny temperate day, they are looking at a display of avocadoes among bouquets of flowers. They are in the same place at the same time and sharing a "now", right?...A honeybee comes along. The bee buzzes around the first person's hands and face, who, having a great love and harmonious past with bees, is pleasantly engaged, is happy to connect with this visitor. The other is afraid. His grandmother has a very severe allergy to bees, and as a child, he witnessed her go into anaphalactic shock after a sting. He screams and jumps and swats and runs and screams. Same time, same place, same circumstance. From the outside. Within, at the core of their feeling body, both have an undeniably different experience. And both of their experiences are very real. The emotional experience is unique at this juncture. At this one moment, where a split in perception came into the manifested experience among them and made them two not one.
We talk a lot about how relationships present a mirror, and a mirror only, in regards to our own growth. That no matter how we feel something has been “done to us” or that “someone did this to me” ~ the amazing gift of truth is to stop and look into: “In what way did I participate in creating this happening?” And with the willingness to look with the deepest and most loving self-honesty, which requires equally gentle and thorough meticulousness, we can see that we created the circumstance. There is no victim or perpetrator. Somewhere along the line, within me, I chose to ignore my inner voice, I chose to not honor my Authentic Self. My Authentic Self: the One that stays steady in the storm. The One that never rushes. The One that always knows. The One that chooses to say “No” and not become a participant of something when it does not feel good.
Thing is, even knowing this within ourselves can be challenging. Where we grew up being trained to ignore our inner guidance. In a world where speaking up and saying no as a child was unacceptable. In a world where having your own ideas is taboo, and you 'have to' do what society dictates ~ whether it says so out loud or in silence of denial. Or in a world where not a soul around you seems to have any clue about the Unity Consciousness you are talking about, that you feel in every cell of your Being. As a child. Closest to Source.
How do I relearn to access *I Know Myself* (remember that?!)? This is where the self-loving and forgiveness come in. This is where watching patterns learned during childhood for survival is unquestionably going to lead to letting go of everything you thought you knew about yourself. Go out and do the stuff that made you feel good as a child. Go sit barefoot by the creekbed and throw leaves in and watch them float down and over ripples and around rocks to a destiny that you may never come to know of. And you participated in that too. And because you are really going to need to go and play too as you are doing the excavation work within.
The moment of the split. That right there is where the pain is. If we don’t learn to speak it as it arises, in other words, to speak our truth (as is so casually sprinkled around these days) then these splits fester and add up and feed on each other to create an internal~external monster. Trust exits. Fear takes over. “The ‘other’ is out there to get me.” Hence, total survival aggressivity. Hence, war within ~ war without. Hence, genocide. Hence, violence against women and children.
And denial. Denial of the circumstance (“Let’s just move on.”, “The past is the past.”, “Leave well enough alone.”)….When actions I take have a harmful effect on someone or a situation, it is of vital importance, essence, for the Rebirth out of Chaos…to spot the moment of the split, name it, and acknowledge my part in causing harm, and do my best to convey, with the Soul intention of understanding, what my experience has been.
The Reality is, every human is here navigating the best they can. So the vital need to be True to Oneself can never be underestimated. For if I am True to me I will always and forever be True in my reflections. In my relationships. In my environments. In my Being. I bring that which resonates most perfectly with the reality within. Conflict comes as a test of Inner Truth and of the ability to stay in Connection with the Heart that is there is front of me. And within me.
Mm-hmm. So Good. Life is Rich. Feel it fully. Embrace what Is, Dig Deep, Cry Hard and Laugh until your belly melts into the Universe. And speak it out loud along the way. Find companions along the trail of your Inner Truth. This means self-honesty, loving accountability and seeing it through when the Intention is from the Heart.